The Proust Questionnaire

The Proust Questionnaire has its origins in a parlour game popularised (though not devised) by Marcel Proust, the French essayist and novelist, who believed that, in answering these questions, an individual reveals his or her true nature.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?

   Starting the day by waking up next to someone you love, followed by hot black coffee, Dylan spinning on vinyl, then a long walk in the cold, lunch with said loved one, an afternoon nap, reading, writing, snuggling outside at sunset with a bottle of Krug champagne

2. What is your greatest fear?

   Wasted potential – and frogs

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

   I tend to overthink and overcomplicate matters, putting my trust in the wrong people

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?

   Selfishness

5. Which living person do you most admire?

   The writers Paul Theroux and Lawrence Osborne

6. What is your greatest extravagance?

   Taxis and linen suits

7. What is your current state of mind?

   Thronging (always) and coffee-fueled (usually)

8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

   Agreeability

9. On what occasion do you lie?

   To protect myself or others from harm

10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?

    I’d like to be taller and have better hair

11. Which living person do you most despise?

    Donald Trump

12. What is the quality you most like in a man?

    Dependable

13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?

    Good-hearted

14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

    “Cool” and “amazing”

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?

    My mum, my sister, and my niece

16. When and where were you happiest?

    As a late-teen at university in Kansas City

17. Which talent would you most like to have?

    Polyglot

18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

    To worry less and to not be so anxious and emotional

19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?

    I’m hoping that it hasn’t been achieved yet

20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?

    The cutest red panda that you’ve ever seen

21. Where would you most like to live?

    Venice half of the year, the other half on Seløy Island in Norway

22. What is your most treasured possession?

    Prayer beads of AA Gill, given to me by Jock Zonfrillo

23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

    Loving someone who doesn’t love you back

24. What is your favourite occupation?

    Writer

25. What is your most marked characteristic?

    Generosity

26. What do you most value in your friends?

    Wit and loyalty

27. Who are your favourite writers?

    Paul Theroux, John Steinbeck, Stephen King, David Foster Wallace, Steven Rinella, AA Gill

28. Who is your hero of fiction?

    Huckleberry Finn

29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?

    Lord Byron

30. Who are your heroes in real life?

    My mother, Jenny

31. What are your favourite names?

    Byron, Dylan, Indiana

32. What is it that you most dislike?

    Boastful people who like the sound of their own voice and think others do, too

33. What is your greatest regret?

    Not learning other languages from an early age

34. How would you like to die?

    Heroically

35. What is your motto?

    Audere est Facere (To dare is to do)